The Little Pack

The before picture is out of focus and taken with a lesser quality camera, but even so the changes in Cheyenne are obvious. She has put on 10 pounds or so in the time that we have had her, just solid muscle, and the forlorn look is gone. She has learned to trust and love us, and she is finally content. The confidence is visible. She has almost grown into her ears. When we adopted her we were told she was full-grown and not expected to grow any more, but I could tell that she wasn’t done growing yet. And sure enough with consistent guidance and unconditional love (and trust me, she has taught me the meaning of that one) she has grown, not only physically but emotionally as well.

When I think back, I am amazed at how far we have come together. She used to gulp her food down as fast as she could swallow it. And she would wolf down anything edible that came her way, as though she did not trust when her next meal was coming. A few years later and she has now realized she has the luxury of being picky about what she eats, daring even to turn her nose up at her dish if it isn’t to her liking. To me, this is proof-positive that she has accepted us fully and completely and has opened her little heart to us, knowing that we won’t hurt her.

For a long time after she came to live with us, if we approached her or moved in an unexpected way, she would immediately flinch, cower and begin trembling. She would tuck her tail and the demons she was battling came to the surface. The only thing I could do was to wrap my arms around her and try to love it out of her. And I did every single time. This went on for 2 years, and she was only a year old when we got her. Over time it has happened less and less frequently and has been about 6 months since the last incident. The only consolation was that each occurrence was an opportunity for healing. I have tried to see it that way, but I can’t begin to tell you the ways in which my heart broke every time this happened.

Over the years there have been so many behavioral difficulties with her, and I have to admit that I was not at all prepared for what I was getting into. As frustrated as I sometimes feel, the pictures offer a wonderful reminder of where we started and how many victories there have actually been. They prove that true progress has really occurred. I am proud of the rapport we have built together. She has tested my patience and resolve and in the end, taught me more about myself and faith than anyone. I am confident that those sad days are behind us and that she will continue to surprise and challenge us. Although I am sure the sailing will not always be smooth, I am sure that journey will be well-worth whatever struggles lay ahead.

Tonight Cheyenne obeyed my (almost) every word. She sat every time I asked her to sit down, laid down every time I asked her to  lay down and even went to the door when I asked her to go inside. Better yet, she was extremely excited when I told her she was a good girl. Of course, she celebrated by chasing down and smashing the kitty. But no matter. She cared what I thought. Outside, when I used my serious voice, she stopped in her tracks and sat. And when we came inside she was submissive to me–she laid down and rolled over without me asking. Is this the beginning of her wanting to please me?

…and not the way we would have wanted her to. First, it is important to explain that getting Jack to eat has been an ongoing battle from the beginning. I first tried feeding him Wellness. He hated it. I tried mixing it with Eukanuba, he picked out all the Wellness pieces out of his dish and spit them out. I gave in. And so it began.

People say an animal won’t starve himself, but Jackson is living proof that that is not true. I used to free-feed him and IO when they were little and I was of the opinion that if he was hungry, he would eat. Well, unfortunately, that premise did not hold true in Jack’s case. He got so thin that not only were his ribs visible, but so were his hip bones. At the vet’s office he weighed in at a mere 19 pounds. I was given a choice: separate him from IO at mealtimes, and give him a few weeks to see if he put on a little weight, or do tests right then to rule out things like liver failure. Although we knew more than likely he just wasn’t eating, I opted for all the tests, so that if there was a problem we could start treating it immediately. I was told by my vet to try putting broth and cheese on his food… sigh. Turns out, all tests were negative, in a few weeks he began to put on weight, and consensus was that he was being overly polite to IO, letting her eat all his food to prove his loyalty to her. She has the opposite problem with food, by the way, so if he has dog anorexia, she has dog bulimia. Over time, and many, many different foods later, he will not even consider eating his dinner without cheese on it. And if he goes too long without eating, I take him through the drive-thru and get him a plain cheeseburger, or make his new fave–chicken, brown rice and broth with a little dog food mixed in.

So fast-forward to the addition of Cheyenne. When we first got Cheyenne, she had been surrendered twice that we knew of and major trust issues. She would swallow as much food as she could at every opportunity, as though she didn’t know when she might eat again. Two years later and all of a sudden she has become picky, refusing to eat her dinner, waiting until we put cheese on it to eat it. And lately, picking out the cheese and just picking at her food. So now, here we are, putting cheese and broth on her and Jack’s dinner, and instead of being annoyed, I can only see it as good. For Cheyenne to be picky about her dinner means that she completely trusts us and knows she will never go hungry again. And that makes me incredibly glad.

Tonight Cheyenne was obsessively pawing at me–my arms, my face. I asked her “What do you need to do?” (which means “Sit”, don’t even ask…) and she sat, but continued to paw, inlcuding trying to paw at my feet when I told her no paws. Sigh… that’s a Shoo-Shy for you, desperately trying to find the loop hole. So anyway, I pointed at the floor in front of me and said, more to myself than anything, “If you want loves, you need to lay down.” I had absolutely no expectations. After a (very) prolonged period she sighed, laid down, and rolled over! I was stunned. I hadn’t even said it as though I was asking her to do anything. Which only proves just how intelligent she really is, and also just how uncooperative she really is. It isn’t that she doesn’t understand what is being asked of her, its that she doesn’t understand why she should comply with my requests. I had stopped touching her and she really wanted attention. I am beginning to think that she is affection motivated, even though I have never heard of such a thing. Hey whatever works. Even if it is only 60% of the time.