The Little Pack

The before picture is out of focus and taken with a lesser quality camera, but even so the changes in Cheyenne are obvious. She has put on 10 pounds or so in the time that we have had her, just solid muscle, and the forlorn look is gone. She has learned to trust and love us, and she is finally content. The confidence is visible. She has almost grown into her ears. When we adopted her we were told she was full-grown and not expected to grow any more, but I could tell that she wasn’t done growing yet. And sure enough with consistent guidance and unconditional love (and trust me, she has taught me the meaning of that one) she has grown, not only physically but emotionally as well.

When I think back, I am amazed at how far we have come together. She used to gulp her food down as fast as she could swallow it. And she would wolf down anything edible that came her way, as though she did not trust when her next meal was coming. A few years later and she has now realized she has the luxury of being picky about what she eats, daring even to turn her nose up at her dish if it isn’t to her liking. To me, this is proof-positive that she has accepted us fully and completely and has opened her little heart to us, knowing that we won’t hurt her.

For a long time after she came to live with us, if we approached her or moved in an unexpected way, she would immediately flinch, cower and begin trembling. She would tuck her tail and the demons she was battling came to the surface. The only thing I could do was to wrap my arms around her and try to love it out of her. And I did every single time. This went on for 2 years, and she was only a year old when we got her. Over time it has happened less and less frequently and has been about 6 months since the last incident. The only consolation was that each occurrence was an opportunity for healing. I have tried to see it that way, but I can’t begin to tell you the ways in which my heart broke every time this happened.

Over the years there have been so many behavioral difficulties with her, and I have to admit that I was not at all prepared for what I was getting into. As frustrated as I sometimes feel, the pictures offer a wonderful reminder of where we started and how many victories there have actually been. They prove that true progress has really occurred. I am proud of the rapport we have built together. She has tested my patience and resolve and in the end, taught me more about myself and faith than anyone. I am confident that those sad days are behind us and that she will continue to surprise and challenge us. Although I am sure the sailing will not always be smooth, I am sure that journey will be well-worth whatever struggles lay ahead.