There are moments holding my little boy that bring tears to my eyes and I want to last forever. I close my eyes and hold on tight, willing everything I am hearing and touching and sensing and feeling to imprint upon my memory permanently.
While Cheyenne has been competing with the baby and conflicted about his arrival, Jackson has completely defied all expectation. Jack’s reaction to the baby was a bit of a wild card. Some kids he has really loved, most he has been indifferent to, and there have been 2 children he has shown his teeth to. To say I was nervous is an understatement. But instead Jack has completely embraced the baby. When we come home, he and Cheyenne both check the baby to make sure he is has come back with me. Jack will always give the baby a quick lick on the cheek. This has become more and more enthusiastic over the past months. And now when Baby Boy puts his hand out to Jack, Jack licks it wholeheartedly. Yesterday Baby Boy immediately noticed Jackson upon waking up and put his little hand out. Jack graciously kissed it. Baby Boy smiled so big. And in response, Jack took this as an invitation and enthusiastically licked his face, much to Baby Boy’s delight. And then. Today, Jack kissed Baby Boy’s hand and Baby Boy giggled. Giggled with those sparkling eyes and adorable dimples and I thought I would just melt.
Baby Boy is obsessed, I mean OBSESSED, with rolling over. Anytime he is on his back, he instantly flips over. Which means he now rolls over to sleep on his belly. Which means I have to trust that he will turn his head to the side and remember to breathe. Which means that I am barely sleeping a wink because I am checking on him so often. Which I completely realize sounds obsessed and absolutely asinine. I’ve at least improved from the night that I insisted on flipping him onto his back repeatedly and neither of us got any sleep. The worst part is that I know if I was listening to someone else saying these exact words I would be thinking Wow. What. A. Freak. Get a grip. Of course if he’s strong enough to roll over he will be just fine. But that was all before it was MY baby and logic disappeared. › Continue reading
My day started with poop. Not poop in a diaper where it belongs but poop shooting out of my son’s butt during the first diaper change of the day. There was no warning, just poop shooting quite literally everywhere. All over me, all over him and the changing table, and the towel I had covering the changing table. Clearly his jammies got covered and needed to be changed. Jackson got scared and hid and Cheyenne felt the need to be involved. Hubby’s solution was to throw about a thousand wipes towards the Little One’s butt. Then after he ate he pooped again and it shot up his back, so jammies #2 were covered with poop. Meanwhile he slept a little later than normal and my boob was ready to explode–it was backed up to my neck (that’s not really an exaggeration) so I tried to pump but didn’t have the pieces together exactly right and milk got all over my clothes… And now I just found a fruit fly that drowned in my coffee. Awesome. But truly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Before I was a mom, I never knew that going an average of 3 days between showers would seem reasonable. For that matter, I never knew that I would view the most basic of personal hygiene tasks, like showering or flossing or god forbid even visiting the restroom as victories instead of simple tasks. I didn’t know that a ponytail and pair of oversized sunglasses perched on top of my head even in pouring down rain would become my best friends. And that I would trick myself into believing a necklace could make my hair look better on the days when the last shower I took was closer to 4 days ago. Which, seriously? That doesn’t even make logical sense. Do I really think these things are drawing attention away from the oil slick on my head, the bags under my eyes or the dried spit up all over my clothes? › Continue reading